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[darkinferno]

Dante Rantanen

"Hey, you've reached Dante. I'm not in right now--you know what to do."

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[darkinferno]

sorry, we've all gotta play our parts

you're the one that was trying to convince me you weren't cut out for fighting, and now you want to be a knight? it takes more work than that

besides aren't your knees going out by this point imagine wearing all that armor into battle

[Okay, okay, he knows Ardyn's not that old, but can you blame him for playing it up...]

[daemonized]

Of course it would take work, but is that not what a squire does? Work impossibly hard to earn their station, so that they may one day become a fully fledged knight?

[Didn't he just say that he wasn't one, though?]

Besides, I think Retrospec has been pushing me more towards swords than sorcery. I have a proper one now, you know. Age will not stop me as I brandish it, edge gleaming in the sun.

[He is definitely not that old, thank you!]

[darkinferno]

i thought you were just arguing that you WEREN'T in training to be a knight, and now you want to be one?

[Silly Ardyn. Don't you know that he's the knight here?]

really, you got a sword? you didn't tell me about that

for you the pen is still probably mightier though, look at what you just wrote

[daemonized]

I'm an impulsive man. My whims vacillate back and forth all the time.

[Which is only partly true. At any rate:]

You were... ah, gone, when I found it. It was discarded in my kitchen sink. A weapon that I'm more than certain belonged to that /other/ Ardyn.

[darkinferno]

so what you're really telling me is you'd be a jack of all trades and master of none, huh?

in your kitchen sink

why would someone leave a sword in a sink

[Just don't imagine a fencing saber standing upright in the sink because it's halfway sheathed in the drain... with a broken faucet spraying water all over... what is this, some bullshit version of The Sword in the Sink Stone or something?]

you know you've gotta show it to me at some point

[daemonized]

[Listen Ardyn was just as confused when he came across it. But he was also so dreadfully tired that he didn't even try to question it.]

Maybe it needed cleaning.

And of course. I always keep it close after the events of last month, so I'll show you when I see you next.

[darkinferno]

you don't clean a sword with water!

[Why are you that adamant about it, Dante]

how about this weekend, after everything that's happened we probably need the fight club more than ever. you can show me on sunday?

[daemonized]

You do if you have nothing else!

[It's not like he put it there!]

Sunday it is. Be prepared this time, Dante. I've even more experience under my belt.

[darkinferno]

no you don't, that's how you get rust!

i'd say that sounds like a challenge but to be honest with you

i don't want to fight to win right now

maybe a spar for fun though

[daemonized]

And that's why you dry it off when you're through.

[He's messing with him at this point.]

That's more than fair. For fun, then.

[darkinferno]

that doesn't change how science works you know

you're doing this on purpose now

i'll just have to pay you back on sunday, that's all

[daemonized]

So you're saying I should stop running water over the blade right now?

I'd never torment you purposefully, Dante. Unless it's in the classroom. Everything I'm saying right now is sincere.

[THAT'S JUST A LIE.]

[darkinferno]

i believe that about as much as i believe that retrospec's full of competent workers that know what they're doing and don't ever make any mistakes

sunday, old man

[WILL YOU STOP THIS]

[daemonized]

We'll see how Sunday goes, won't we?

Dante, didn't one of the most famous swords of legend arise out of water? A lake, if I remember correctly.

[darkinferno]

yeah and some girl just found it

you know what it looked like?



completely rusted

WHAT HAS THIS THREAD COME TO

[daemonized]

Not quite what I was thinking of.

But good heavens that sword is bigger than her. A shame that it's so rusted, but nothing a little dish soap won't fix.

I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M CRACKING UP

[darkinferno]

DISH SOAP WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE

i'm gonna come over there and wash all your scarves in hot water with borax

[daemonized]

[Laughing. WHAT A TRUE VILLAIN.]

How does my sword equate to such personal fury for you? It's not as if I'm going to wash /yours/ in dish soap.

[darkinferno]

you couldn't even if you tried, i'd summon it back before you could

besides i'm pretty sure it keeps itself clean and in perfect condition, i cut through solid rock with it and it didn't lose its edge

[HE'S IGNORING THE BIT ABOUT ARDYN'S SWORD FOR THE MOMENT, HE ACCIDENTALLY MISFIRED TO KIYOMITSU and Kiyo's probably got that part covered now]

[daemonized]

Well that's hardly fair.

What sort of sword doesn't lose its edge?

[darkinferno]

magic ones

[He hopes Ardyn can glean the smugness from his text, honestly.]

[daemonized]

[But now that tone is what he images Dante as by default unless he gets an inkling otherwise.]

Again, not fair. Why didn't I get a magic sword? All I have is magical luggage space and a bit of healing.

[darkinferno]

[Oh, good. Just as it should be.]

yeah well i can only summon my sword, i don't have your magic storage space and i don't have the healing either

i've gotta have SOME cool things

[daemonized]

And yet if I recall correctly, you are able to move in ways that others cannot. I certainly can do no such thing. Your uniqueness grows, Dante.

[darkinferno]

yeah yeah and a couple months ago it was "i can't fight with a sword"

we both see how that one turned out

i give it two months tops before you've got something of your own