darkinferno | [ic inbox]

[she looks, but within the bounds of propriety - she's not going to dig through his papers without him saying it's fine, not linger on them more than the casual look that tells her a lot. Retrospec is enormous, really, and that's important to know. but while he eats, she takes out her phone, composing a quick email for work and checking posts - everything to seem as casual about it as possible. when he asks the question, she looks up.]

Not if you don't want to. I told you, I'm not going to force you to talk about anything - you can tell me in your own time, and in the meanwhile you should know that if you need help or simply to be somewhere that's not here, you can call. I may sleep at human hours, but I'll pick up for you.

You may not want to make that offer. [Dante sets his plate down on the chaise extension so that he can't fidget with it, looking at his hands.] You might wind up getting calls at 4am if you do.

[But even so, there's this tiny spark of warmth inside of him, this feeling he can't quite place. A sense that... that he actually matters to her, that what she offers now is more than a sense of duty owed to him but instead a choice that she's making. A choice, where he is more important than time, than schedules, than approaching the next day with a full night's rest...

Will wonders never cease...?]

It's... pretty dangerous.

[sleep, she's found, she can catch up on in various ways. it's more important if someone needs her to get up, to listen - that couldn't be redone. if Dante trusted her enough to call, then she was ready to pick up, and sometimes it was simply easier to say things in the dead of night. to admit to needing help, company, to exist in a way that required someone to not laugh and instead hold out their hand. better he learn that it was fine to exist like that now, instead of going through the motions as he gets older to then crash into it and have to struggle to understand.

if she can give him that, she wants to, and the decision is very simple.]

I think I can handle the danger.

[There's a plainness in his expression, a vulnerability that few will ever see. Honestly, he doesn't know how to respond to Grell's certainty, except to ask one final question, one last attempt at regaining his balance in this new territory.]

Why would you do all this for me...?

What's the catch?

Should there be a catch?

[she looks at him with an honest confusion.]

I'm doing it because I want to. Because you're you, and I care about you. That's all the reason there is, promise.

["Catch? What's the catch? Silly boy. You’re like a son to me. I only want you to be happy..."

He doesn't realize he's been holding his breath until he releases it, lifting a hand to rub at his face. There's no burning in his eyes this time, no trace of tears, but it feels so different from when Maleficent said it, so much more sincere. She isn't offering him this because of a deal they've made, she isn't expecting him to do anything for her in return...

She cares about him. Him, not what he can offer her or the promise he might symbolize.]

I'm not... really used to that, is all.

I don't really know what to say.

[But for the first time since she's been there, there's a shyer, boyish smile spreading across his face, a stark difference from the smirks and grins he usually wears.]

[the smile that crosses her face is soft, genuine, really. finally, he gets it. no hidden meanings in it, no deals. simply that she stumbled into caring about him and what condition he's in - and she means it.]

There's no etiquette on how to handle this, so I think you're in the clear, whatever you do. Just keep in mind that this exists for you, and that's enough.

[It's that expression--simple, open, sincere--that finally makes him have to look away, coughing under the pretense of clearing his throat and blinking a few times to relieve the burning sensation that's suddenly come back to them. Dammit, Grell, don't make him cry; he's supposed to be too much of an arrogant idiot for stuff like that! He nods, a tiny motion at first and then a stronger one, choosing this time to accept her words at face value. Grell... he can trust her. If she's looked at him and seen something worth her time, something worth caring about...]

Yeah... yeah. I will. I promise.

Thank you, Grell. You don't... you don't know what this means to me.

[She can't know, because even he is still realizing how deep the meaning goes, striking him to his very core. It's one of those moments, he realizes, a moment where the entire world seems to pivot around one focus before it settles into place again. It did it once a couple months ago, when Ardyn had included him with Prompto and Souji and Yu as he'd described himself as a tired father chasing after sons, and again when Togusa had pointed out so simply that he cared about him, that apparently that feeling ran so strongly. Now, it's happened a third time.]

Can I... ask you one other question?

[if she knows what's actually going on, she has the decency to not show it. to pretend that he's just fine and preserve his pride - because he's young enough to need it, and because it gives her the chance to have this settle in her heart. people weren't let close with her - they simply ended up there by circumstance and some coincidental design - but even so. even so it feels less like a duty and more what simply should be.]

Of course. Anything.

[The way she responds, without hesitation and so willingly, almost makes him want to rescind his question. "No, never mind," he might say, and then this feeling of lightness in the air would perhaps remain for a little while longer...

But no, because he can already feel the truth in the back of his mind, nudging at him in spite of this newfound connection, this warmth in his heart. Waiting for him to turn away.]

How do you... [Ugh. He doesn't want to admit this. But when, if not now?]

I can't... really sleep very well. Do you know anything that would help with that?

[Some way to avoid the nightmares that plague him?]

Depends on the cause.

[and she looks thoughtful for a moment.]

How long has this been going on? And have you made any recent changes to your life that might have affected your sleep?

[it's with that same sincerity - treating this as a problem they can fix. she can look at this as a doctor might, not a counselor trying to pick apart his brain. again and again she'll protest that none of this is her specialty, that she's not that sort of doctor, but when it comes to sleep...she's had issues of her own. this is something she can address a little bit.]

Since sometime in the mines. A little over a couple weeks, maybe.

[Time is an illusion and all that--except Dante's still not entirely certain how long they spent in the mines before they made it to the swamp, or how long they were trapped in the mansion for. Too many nights of interrupted sleep, too many naps caught when they could find a moment's peace. He only knows the date as it stands now thanks to his phone.]

It's... the memories. And the stuff that happened in that mansion. It's all running together.

[she nods slowly, thinking about it. how her own dreams felt lost in the underground from time to time - it happened.]

The obvious and most difficult solution is to talk about it, to get some of it out of festering in your mind unchecked. But if that's not possible, then some things do work - physical activity to tire yourself out, sleeping in a different location like your couch sometimes works, leaving music on or the the like as a sort of subconscious distraction. Using any sort of chemical substance for sleep is a last resort, not advised until the condition cannot be solved by any other means because of the risk of dependency. That includes drinking.

Edited 2017-09-19 20:35 (UTC)

[Dante at least has the grace to look abashed, even if she's not directly calling him out for mixing alcohol and medicine.]

If I couldn't fall asleep after that last fight, I don't think any amount of physical activity's going to help. I should've crashed as soon as I made it in the door. But I was still texting Prompto around 8:30 this morning because I... couldn't sleep.

It's... it's harder once the sun goes down.

And a different location hasn't really been easing it, I see.

[she nods, taking in the words, before a thought comes to mind.]

Maybe you just need someone there every now and then. Someone you trust that if the nightmares wake you and you feel scared, they'll tell you where you are. Do you have a friend like that?

[He shakes his head, a confirmation. No, moving to the couch hadn't really helped much at all.

But someone else...]

Maybe. I think I might have a couple people who wouldn't mind if I crashed at their place sometimes.

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i'm still upset about those keywords 8(

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