darkinferno | [ic inbox]

I don't think I'd flinch if I saw these ghosts again.

[His hand flexes instinctively, though there's no accompanying swirl of shadows or blade. Even though he doesn't quite understand it, his sword seems to be capable of a lot more than a normal sword is. It's magic; who's to say it couldn't cleave right through those ghosts, given the opportunity? He just wasn't able to try it last time.]

Anyways, you said you had a question for me. Don't tell me you just wanted to know about Hell Manor?

[Because if so, this meetup might be ending a little bit sooner than anticipated.]

[His encounters with spirits are obviously less benign than Sorey's own. But there are all kinds of hellions, too. Hadn't Atakk been possessing some kind of armor?]

No. I asked you to come out here because of something that's been troubling me lately.

[He wrings his hands as he looks down.]

I remembered doing something horrible. I sort of understand why I did it, but I'm not ready to accept it... Not yet.

Have you ever had a memory like that? One that just goes against everything you thought you were?

[Oh, that's definitely a scowl on Dante's face as he snorts, a sound of derision.]

Yeah, I know the type of memory you're talking about.

Not accepting it doesn't make it any less real, you know.

I know it's real. All of this is real.

[At least, to him it is. Mahoney's answer had been very vague, but he's a firm believer that the memories he keeps getting are as real as the friendships he has in this life.]

But... I can't accept that it was the only way. [His expression falls, gray eyes obviously pained by something. It's about to come out, sorry Dante--] Until I learn more about the other me, I can't accept that it was the right thing to do.

[He sucks in a breath like a wince.]

I killed someone. With his own sword. I...

[It was the only route they had at the time. He knows that, but it goes against everything he is. He feels his stomach twist just thinking about it. The way that blade felt as it sunk through that man's-- Heldalf's-- chest, he...]

[Oh.

Oh.

Abruptly Dante's expression goes blank and he lets out a quiet sigh. More death. More killing. Is there any of them that hasn't been affected by it in some way by this point, whether it be through their memories or their reality...? (There probably is, but it's a topic that's been far too real in the past week for his liking.) At any rate, this is a topic that he has to face head-on--it's not right to Sorey to keep disrespecting it, to keep making sarcastic comments to deflect.

That doesn't mean he's happy about it. But Dante takes the other boy's words in, listening and frowning.]

Do you know anything about that person? Who they were, or why you killed them?

[Is this really a conversation you want to have in public where people might overhear, Sorey?]

[Dante's reaction goes a long way. He doesn't recoil in horror, and he doesn't continue making blithe jokes about it. He treats it with the seriousness that it is due, and there's some calm to be found in that, in talking about things rationally.

... Even if they're in the middle of a cafe. He keeps his voice low, evidently a little worried that their conversation might be overheard. But they also have to compete with the espresso machine so it's hard to tell if it matters.]

I don't know his name, but he was the Lord of Calamity. [He knows that. Remembers that.] He'd turned into a monster, but even when I purified him, it wasn't enough-- I couldn't save him. [He runs his hands through his hair and stares down at the table.] He told me to do it, because he wanted to see me fall... He wanted me to understand him.

[Sorey shakes his head to clear away the memory, but he can still see it clear as day.]

I didn't feel justified or righteous or-- anything like that. I was just... sad. It was the only way to end his suffering, or so I kept telling myself.

[He has his doubts, obviously.]

[Dante frowns. He really is trying to give this the weight it deserves, even as hard as it is to piece together fragments of memory that aren't even his own.]

Hold on, I'm gonna need a little more detail. What do you mean, he wanted to see you fall? Was that the first... monster you'd ever killed? Or was it some sort of outlier that he was a person who'd turned into one?

[Sure, he remembers killing tons of Heartless. But he also remembers how each of them was once a person, and how destroying a Heartless released the heart that had been trapped inside of it. It was what had needed to be done, right?]

What makes you so sure he was suffering?

He said that once I killed him a new Lord of Calamity would be born.

[Dante doesn't know about malevolence or anything-- maybe he should back up a bit.]

Malevolence comes from human hearts. Negative emotions like rage and jealousy can fester, and then they poison the world around them. When people give into their malevolence, that's what turns them into hellions. Even plants and wildlife can be corrupted and turn into monsters. Malevolence taints everything.

But it doesn't have to be permanent. I-- I made a pact with someone so I could the power of purification. I can usually... reverse all that. But he was so strong. I knew I was outmatched.

[He curls his fingers into a fist on top of the table-- the same one that bears the white Shepherd's glove.]

It was something I said. I could've been mistaken, but I truly and honestly believed he was suffering. I said I was sorry it was the only way to save him from 'eternal solitude'. [He closes his eyes for a moment.] He... really hated that I fought back.

[It sounds a little bit like the darkness. Dante listens, his frown deepening, as Sorey explains. People giving in to their darkness... is that how the Heartless are created, too? And if Sorey could purify those monsters... does that mean that maybe there's a way of "purifying" a Heartless?

Mentally he shakes his head--these hellions of Sorey's and the Heartless aren't the same. It would be pretty stupid of him to assume that they're interchangeable!]

So normally you could purify them, but when you tried to purify him, it didn't work.

[He's quiet a moment, considering Sorey's words, and then he sits back in his seat.]

It sounds to me like you didn't really have a choice. What would have happened if you hadn't killed him? If it would've hurt other people...

Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to save other people.

[His voice goes quiet as he says that, his eyes cast down to look toward the table and Sorey's glove. It's still something he's struggling to deal with himself, that Ryoji had sacrificed himself to protect Ritsu. That the other him had wanted Mickey to kill him rather than to let him be used to hurt anybody. It's a harsh reality to face, but it's one they can't shy away from either. He wouldn't be surprised if they came up against that again... and if so, they've got to be prepared to face it.]

I can't tell you if that other Sorey was right or wrong. I don't know if this "Lord of Calamity" was really suffering or not. But... if that's what this other you really believed...

[All he can give is a shrug. He doesn't know. None of them can, really.]

He at least wasn't doing it for the wrong reason.

[He nods solemnly.] I'm still putting the pieces together, but it sounded like the land itself was corrupted, and because of that, everything was dying. We had to stop him somehow, and this was the only way we knew of.

[Sorey's tone makes it clear that he doesn't like that answer, but those are the facts. He would never have settled on it if there was an alternative. And even then, he knows he wasn't entirely comfortable with it back then. He can remember exactly how he felt, because memories work that way... and he knows he hated himself for it, but he had to let it go.]

... I had my friends to guide me-- some of the best teachers I know. And they wouldn't let me do it if it was the wrong thing to do. You're right.

[He looks up from the table, then, his expression somewhat determined.]

I don't think anyone is beyond salvation. [He balls his gloved hand into a fist.] There might not have been a solution on my world at the time, or at least not something attainable, but... If there was something like this again, in Recollé, I think we should depend on each other. The limitations in my world might not exist in yours, and vice versa.

Maybe our past decisions have something to do with why we're here now. Maybe reaching out to each other is the only way to fix this.

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