darkinferno | [narrations + overflow]

[Ardyn is tempted to argue the point further, but he concedes for now. Instead, he opts to answer Dante's question, not focusing on the threat of their impending doom.]

It's been nothing short of frustrating, and even more so that others are treating this as if it's normal to live highly inconvenienced lives. You can't imagine how long it takes to walk to campus.

[And he laughs, despite everything.]

I didn't consider using any of my cats as transportation, yet I somehow think that may not work very well to begin with. They're independent creatures, and probably wouldn't take kindly to being led around at someone else's whim.

[There's a grin from Dante.]

What are the odds you'd wind up trapped underneath them in a patch of catnip somewhere?

[Honestly, the mental image of the prof struggling to grab his hat while pinned down by purring feline is almost enough to make him laugh himself!]

That's a thought I'd rather not entertain at the moment, if at all possible.

[He can't imagine getting lost in that wilderness of cat fur. Sure, it's an amusing thought on paper, but probably not so much if it happens in reality.]

Thankfully they've not seen me as a plaything in my current state. I should count my blessings.

[It might not be a thought that Ardyn wants to entertain, but it's definitely an idea that's going to have Dante laughing up his sleeve for a while. He doesn't know what types of cats Ardyn has (Souji and Yu might have tried to drape cats on him at one point, but he doesn't know if those were theirs or his or what was even going on that afternoon), so he's just imagining some cat the same color as Ardyn's hair writhing around...

Yeah, it's probably not hard to see the laughter on his face.]

Sounds to me like they're sleeping on the job, then. How are they supposed to catch any mice if they aren't chasing after anything the same size?

[And, quite confidently:]

That would require my house to have mice. It's rodent-free, if you must know.

[Insert joke about Fynn here.]

Really? 'Cause I know of at least one rat that's living there.

[Okay, you couldn't really expect that he wouldn't go for that! But a glance at his expression should be enough to make it obvious that he's not holding much of a grudge against Fynn. Sure, the guy's a jerk, but eh, he can't be too pissed at the guy for doing his job when Dante was already sitting in the station.]

I don't know how you're so positive there aren't any mice there. When's the last time you checked?

[He scoffs, laced with humor.]

I'll tell Fynn you said that.

[But he shrugs, amused that they've somehow moved conversations revolving around the state of his home.]

I don't go around looking for rodents, but do you think I'm so unobservant to not tell when one is skittering around? Besides, my cats aren't as lazy as they initially seem. I feel sorry for any mouse that decides my home is where they'd like to reside.

That's all right. I can run faster than him anyways.

[And besides. Even if he can't outrun Fynn, he can use this fancy new parkour skills of his to escape him, right? Sure, they've all been remembering things and discovering hidden talents, but surely nobody would be expecting that!]

Besides, I'm not saying your house has rats running across the floor. But okay, if you're that sensitive about it, maybe they're sleeping on the job catching beetles or bugs. Whatever it is, they're sleeping on the job if they haven't tried chasing after you yet.

[They're coming up on a shallow turn--one that Dante's liable to take too quickly driving in his own car. It's got enough room for him to swing around it fast enough to slide across the seat in the first place, and at this size there's even more room to maneuver around it.

...which means that yeah, if you don't think he's whipping around that turn, you don't know Dante. Do you feel the way the forces of momentum try to pull you across the seat, Ardyn?]

[Ardyn was about to open his mouth to make some comment about how his cats just love him enough not to try to kill him, but the thought is cut short. The car careens with an impossible turn, and he feels the momentum try to drag him from his seat, and his insides flutter. His hands grasp at the edges of his seat, and it's only when the car straightens does he say anything.]

Dante. [So much disapproval!] Is this how you drive when you're not small?

Obviously I don't drive like this when I'm not small.

[There's a shit-eating grin on his face as he glances over, and it's probably obvious what he's about to say before he even says it. Sorry, Ardyn, he's definitely having fun at your expense here...]

I can actually drift in my car.

[god dante you are an ass of the highest degree

HE SCOFFS AT THAT REMARK, hand reaching up once more to adjust his hat.]

You're on the fast track to dying exceedingly young at this rate. Would you like an adult to lecture you on just how reckless that is?

[HAS HE EVER PROFESSED TO BE ANYTHING ELSE? I think not]

You know, when I made that dad crack, I wasn't being serious! How many lectures have you threatened me with now? Two? Three?

Besides, I don't drift inside the city limits.

[Beat.]

Before midnight.

And I will continue to threaten you with my lectures. It's my civic duty, as a responsible adult.

[SERIOUSLY THO]

Honestly, the recklessness of youth is utterly mind-blowing.

[A snort as he rolls his eyes.]

See if I ever give you a ride again. Here I am being innovative and coming up with good solutions and all I get is shit.

Besides, who decided you're a responsible adult? I demand credentials; I don't believe it.

And exactly what is that supposed to mean, hm?

[He'd take offense to that! ...If he were any other man than Ardyn Izunia.]

I'm utterly surrounded by proof of my responsible adulthood. Surely that much is obvious to you.

[Yeah, Dante's side-eyeing Ardyn.]

You're being driven in an RC jeep looking like a kid playing dress-up in his father's bathrobe with a bad hat. Is this a trick question?

[Wow rude?]

And what does that say about you?

That I'm a reckless young man having a bit of fun in a shitty situation?

[Come on, you didn't expect him to admit to anything, did you?]

Overall, correct. Though a bit more simplistic than what I would have said.

[And before you can ask what he was going to say!]

You're a reckless young man who had better learn -- someday soon, hopefully -- that danger and fun can be mutually exclusive.

[It's a good thing Ardyn continued, because that absolutely would have been Dante's next question!]

I already know that they can be.

But the things that are the most fun always have a little bit of risk to them too.

[Adrenaline is a powerful rush...]

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