darkinferno | [narrations + overflow]

"If you would still do it, then is it really a mistake?" And which one of the two of them was that aimed at? File that away for later, focus now. Togusa holds out a hand.

"You know the reasons, the lead up, and the costs that came with it. Was it a mistake then? Or was what he gained out of it actually worth it? And, in that case, is it really an action you need to be afraid of?"

Oh, that look on Dante's face is rapidly becoming a deadpan.

"He made a deal with this witchy-looking woman to find this friend of his that, when he found her, was pretty much comatose, started using these dark powers along the way, and got killed because of it. But he had to have saved her in the end, because he told someone else to 'take care of her' as the two of them shut these giant doors between whatever afterworld he was in and the real world."

There's a second where Togusa has no possible way to know how to react to that. Dante was right; he didn't know the half of it. And now we put Dante on the worst list of all: people who have memories of their own death.

Why is it always the kids?

Togusa walks around the table, and he puts a hand on Dante's shoulder, ready for it to be immediately shrugged off, but he does it anyway.

"Is learning that you'd do anything for a friend so bad? Because...you didn't answer the question. Was that a mistake? If making a deal with a force we don't understand is the only way to get what you need to save people?" Because isn't that precisely what they're doing now?

"If he saved her in the end? Wasn't that worth it?"

Dante's shoulders do instinctively shift when Togusa reaches out to him--he's not used to people trying to offer comfort; it feels strange for that weight to be there. It's not that he's intentionally shrugging Togusa off, but it may be what happens nonetheless.

"Maybe. I don't know. I don't think he knew what was going to happen after he died."

He has to take a moment here to sort his thoughts out, to revisit all the different memories he's had and try to figure out the order they all belong in. There are so many, of all these different places and people and events... he thinks again that it seems too much for one life, that he can't imagine how it all fits together.

"And you're misunderstanding me," Dante says, the rest of Togusa's words sinking in belatedly. "It's not 'a force we don't understand.' When he started using the darkness... he could summon monsters. They obeyed him. That's what got him killed.

"In one memory I have, someone was arguing with him about it. He tried to tell the other me that he was stupid for siding with them and that 'sooner or later they'll swallow your heart.'" He runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "I think that's what must have happened. Wherever he wound up, he was fighting those monsters. That was the first thing I ever remembered, fighting the Heartless in that afterworld. It didn't matter how many of them I killed, more kept coming back to take their place."

He doesn't want to see the look on Togusa's face. He knows how bad it all is--there's a reason he hasn't been telling many people about these memories, after all. "When I first showed up in that place, I could feel myself wanting to fade away. Like it'd be easier if I just let it happen and became nothing. How long he managed to hold on... I don't know."

Edited 2017-07-25 20:05 (UTC)

Togusa lets his hand slide off, and he silently listens, lets Dante look away from him. As if he has something to be ashamed of in the memories of another man, another life?

"He knew what the power was, he knew what the cost was, to himself," Togusa has to clarify. The specifics are confusing, just as monstrous as he expected, but the feelings behind them are understandable.

Dante is scared he- a bolt of absolute fear jolts through Togusa when he realizes it. The other Dante made his choices out of a self-sacrificial drive, but what Dante is saying there at the end is out and out suicidality. The man fought the unspeakable for the sake of a friend, and it killed him, and if this goes on, Dante is going to be afraid to make attachments to people, if he isn't already, because he thinks it's capable of literally killing him.

Choose. Your. Next. Words. Carefully. Togusa.

"Even when it's more painful to hang on and fight, I believe you'll do it. He's got the memories of fighting. You don't have to throw yourself into this fight," a gesture at the room around them, Retrospec's own headquarters, definitely a fight, "just to try to make up for it."

"But I know there's also no chance you're backing away. So. Keep talking to your friends. If you're so worried about what you'd do on your own."

Again, he shakes his head. Wrong again. He doesn't want to go into more detail, not one bit, but Dante can recognize that he's not explaining this well enough to get the point across.

"I don't... think he did," he admits, taking a long, deep breath to steady himself. "That witch I mentioned... she'd made a deal with him. If he helped her, she'd help him find the girl he was looking for. I... he kidnapped someone. A princess. I remember--he brought her this princess, and she had a ship waiting to take him to where his friend was."

His eyes close as he remembers the conversation between him and the woman, remembering that first inclination of something being wrong with the stuff he remembered. "I asked her what the catch was. She said... she said that I was like a son to her, that she only wanted me to be happy." Dante reopens his eyes, looking at Togusa and shrugging. "He didn't believe her, but he thought things would be all right because he knew better than to trust her.

"I don't know exactly what happened after that. But I've got another memory of him on the ship, later. The third friend showed up and instead of asking about the girl, he wanted to know about the new friends he'd made instead." He doesn't mean to, but there's a bitterness that creeps into his words. He can remember how it felt, looking at the boy on the decks below him, the burn of betrayal he'd felt when the boy hadn't cared at all about him or her. "He'd replaced us. He didn't care about finding her--he'd let the other me do all the legwork and once he'd found her, then he was worried. He was the one that told the other me he'd lose his heart to the Heartless. And I.." He looks away again. "He said that there wasn't a chance, because his heart was too strong for that."

Obviously he'd been wrong about that. And that's what Dante's afraid of: that like his other self, he might make choices based in his own overconfidence, that he'll dig himself into a hole he can't get back out of. That he'll make the same sort of mistakes his other self did and that, like him, he'll wind up alone in the end, tormented by his own failures and shortcomings.

Your heart is empty. It's a refrain that he hasn't been able to quite block out, ever since he'd first heard her say it back in March. You should be grateful. Were it not for the darkness it contains, you'd be entirely alone.

"I'm not doing this because of him, though." It's true, though weak as a defense against Togusa's words. "I'm not trying to make up for anything."

Besides. Togusa wants him to keep talking to his friends? That requires having friends he admits this sort of thing to in the first place.

Again, the details, the specifics, it's all a little much. Things that make sense resolved in Dante's head, a world that he understands but is hard to explain. But it doesn't matter.

Kidnapping, hurting someone else to do a favor for the woman to get power. A friend, forgotten about, betrayed by someone else. And that power that Dante, or other Dante, eventually succumbed to. He wanted it to end.

But Togusa's response is simple. "You think there's some detail that's going to change my mind. Like I'm still here because I don't see something that you see. You can keep trying to pile on the reasons you think nobody should bother with you. And I'm still going to stay."

"What?" Dante can't help but jerk his gaze back to Togusa, startled. "No, that's not what I'm doing--it's just, you're giving me--him--credit when it wasn't..." When he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve the way Togusa points out that he'd known the cost to himself. Sure, he'd known that the Heartless might swallow his heart, but he hadn't expected it. He'd thought he was so strong that he would avoid it! He'd been an idiot; he doesn't deserve to be described like he'd done something noble.

For a moment, he can only stare at the other man. What does he mean, he's going to stay? And how does he know that Dante doesn't think people should bother with him...?

It slips out before he can stop it--faint, but audible if Togusa's listening hard enough. "Why...?"

"Because you're my friend." He says it like it's the simplest thing in the world.

"This isn't quite the time or the place to go into specifics, but if you're convinced you're still a bad person deep down, then look around you. You're standing here, in this building, right now, because you're trying to figure this out. Not for the self-serving reasons, but you always keep in mind that there are a lot of other people stuck in this situation with you. And that they're at risk. So you'll do anything you can to help."

"You can try to tell me it's selfish. I know better." That smile of Togusa's turns a little knowing. "So. I'm staying."

I'm saving that for a rainy day.

[he says that, not in the least bothered by dante's discomfort]

I get to choose where to slap you, right?

[He's just going to hold onto that forever, isn't he?]

Yeeeeeees? [Slowly--suspiciously. What's he planning...?]

Stand up.

[prompto, too, stands, giving dante space]

Do you think we’d actually find something? I get what you’re saying, but what makes you think something would be different this time?

[What the hell, man, you're acting really strange...? Dante gives Prompto an odd look, but okay, sure, he's standing up before turning both palms up in a sort of "well?" gesture.]

[he doesn't give dante a chance to react]

[because, immediately? prompto's moving behind him and delivering a hard smack to his ass]

Nothing, really. But if we don't keep checking back, how will we know if something changes?

What are y-- whoa!

[WHAT THE HELL PROMPTO???? Dante isn't expecting that smack to the ass at all--he can't help but yell in surprise, turning to face him.]

A little warning, dude! You can't just start that up after four months without saying anything first!

[That was a solid smack, jeez...!]

[prompto's laughing, a stupid grin on his face as he shakes his hand a bit]

The best kind of butt smacks are the ones that come without warning. You should feel honored! That was a good one.

Yeah, that look on his face isn't going anywhere. Friends? That easily? It seems impossible. Togusa's everything he isn't, the sort of guy that gets respect just by being himself. He's softer, even if he is a cop, gentler, more willing to give someone a smile and a helping hand than he is to ignore them or rub salt in the wound. The only similarity between the two of them is their refusal to let the Retrospec matter go, the fact that they're both here in this moment.

Even with Togusa's warning against getting into it here, Dante still can't prevent himself from disagreeing aloud. "That's not... why I'm doing it, though." He looks away, not wanting to say anything more. Why is it that Togusa can see so much good at him? Why is it that Togusa is missing the obvious explanations for his actions and choosing instead to attribute them to some sort of benevolence he just doesn't have?

"I don't sneak in for other people's sakes. I sneak in because it pisses Retrospec off. Because if I can get my hands on information they don't want us to have, it'll make them feel less secure in their bunker. I want to make them feel the same way they've been trying to make us feel. How can you say that isn't self-serving?"

Again, his voice seems to fail him a little bit. "How can you say we're friends just like that?"

Good enough to make your hand sting, I see.

[Okay, yeah, he's just gonna reach behind himself and rub his ass because damn, Prompto!]

I almost think I would've preferred the punch!

[Yeah no he's laughing too, you got him good.]

I gotta strike when and how you least expect it. I'm sure you enjoyed that as much as I did.

[listen to him]

[Dante's eyebrows raise so high they almost disappear into his hairline. Prompto, do you even think about what you're saying before you say it?]

Enjoy, huh?

I partnered with a fashion expert on this. There's no way I could've gotten away with the Sharpie route, unfortunately.

I don't know a Dirk Strider. [...] May've seen him on retrospec once or twice, though. You're serious? There's no sort of light sensitivity, no seeing what he's seeing? Just, bam, [She snaps her fingers] you woke up and your eyes are different?

[he crosses his arms and just walks around and past dante, hopefully not to get retaliated]

Admit it.

[Nope, sorry Prompto. There's no answer here--only retaliation. He might be able to avoid it since he has an inkling it might be coming, but turnabout is definitely fair play in this case!]

[narrations + overflow]

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Re: Prompto

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