you just keep shoving it further and further down until it rots and festers and you lash out at anybody that tries to treat you decently because all you're used to is sarcasm and lies and it's easier to deal with that than it is somebody talking about how they actually feel
then you keep telling yourself that it's their fault because they didn't really care about you because if they'd REALLY cared they would have
done what, exactly? tried to reach out to you? invited you into your home? tried to make you a part of their family?
[He's thinking about Malik's foster-parents. His mother--how happy she'd been to think that her son had met and made a friend. How she (at least, seems) to actually want to be a mother to him, if he'd only let her. It's something that he's almost a little bit jealous of--or, would be, if not for Grell a little while earlier.]
no subject
you just keep shoving it further and further down until it rots and festers and you lash out at anybody that tries to treat you decently because all you're used to is sarcasm and lies and it's easier to deal with that than it is somebody talking about how they actually feel
then you keep telling yourself that it's their fault because they didn't really care about you because if they'd REALLY cared they would have
done what, exactly? tried to reach out to you? invited you into your home? tried to make you a part of their family?
[He's thinking about Malik's foster-parents. His mother--how happy she'd been to think that her son had met and made a friend. How she (at least, seems) to actually want to be a mother to him, if he'd only let her. It's something that he's almost a little bit jealous of--or, would be, if not for Grell a little while earlier.]
what do you want